


Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 32: Megatron's Master Plan, Part 2

by specspectacle, Twilight-Owls (LadyTorix)



Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [33]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Embedded Video, Episode Commentary, Episode Review, Podcast, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 20-30 Minutes, Swearing, Video, YouTube, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24420994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specspectacle/pseuds/specspectacle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTorix/pseuds/Twilight-Owls
Summary: The Autobots may be hurtling towards the sun, but never mind that- it's Decepticon Day!
Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [33]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1220114
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 32: Megatron's Master Plan, Part 2

**Author's Note:**

> As always, if you need an audio only version of the podcast please check out the links at the end of the transcript.
> 
> (Our apologies for the sound in this episode, we're dealing with having to record separately because of the COVID-19 but we've been working on improving it in future episodes.)

[Stinger]

S: Well... I mean, it would do a lot of damage to  _ humans. _

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls.

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're going to be talking about episode number 32, Megatron's Master Plan - Part 2! Ah, you... dear listener, may notice that something sounds a little off today. [laughs] And that's because you've happened upon the first episode we've recorded since the whole Coronavirus thing hit where we are. I mean  _ really  _ hit where we are. So we are having to record separately and you're gonna hear some kind of wonky sound quality. We're doing the best we can, but uh... yeah this is- this is kind of what we got to deal with right now. Uh, let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Sure, let's do that.

O: [laughs] All right, last time on The Transformers… A local municipal government kicked the Autobots off Earth leaving the Decepticons completely unchallenged. Also, the Autobots are hurtling towards the Sun.

S: So obviously... it's the perfect time for a parade.

O: If you remember, last time Megatron framed the Autobots for being the  _ true  _ villains. So the same city, Central City, is now having a parade for the Decepticons.

S: [sighs] It’s Decepticon Day.

O: Talk about an about face! [laughs]

S: Yep, considering that it- like, literally two days ago it was Autobot Day.

O: Right!?! Like, just- is- is every day a holiday in Central City?

S: [sighs] Maybe?

O: [laughs] 

S: [sighs] So, the Decepticons are marching down the middle of the street. Which... well, is more um, interesting than what the Autobots were doing.

O: Yeah, at least they’re in robot mode. I mean mostly because having a jet fly through the street would be strange, but not more strange than a gun flying through the street? [laughs] Starscream asks Megatron effectively, “Why are we doing this?” Megatron says he has his  _ reasons. _

S: And those reasons are ego stroking.

O: Megatron just needs more positive affirmation in his life, Specs!

S: [sighs] Oh, he wants everyone to suck up to him.

O: Pretty much, yeah.

S: Uh, Sparkplug and Chip wonder how the public bought this grade-a bullshit, but they say Spike is still looking for answers.

O: So, does this mean Spike's been missing for like, two days straight? Like, has he been under that arena for two days straight?

S: Spike, boy detective.

O: [laughs]

S: No one questions where the hell he goes.

O: No one!

S: And speaking of Spike, we see him uh, in the video control room from last time. Where he is watching an entirely different clip of the fake Optimus Prime being revealed as Starscream then he was watching previously.

O: [snorts] So, in the last episode it was a clip of Starscream taking off the Optimus head in front of the oil fill- field that was in the last episode. But here, it's instead a clip where he's standing in the middle of a city, takes off the Optimus head and the rest of the Optimus costume just sort of crumbles around him.

S: Well, that costume really wasn't very well made.

O: It had  _ a lot  _ of use, okay! It held up perfectly fine for the past two years! …With daily use.

S: Ha! Ah, they’ve been getting their cosplay on.

O: Probably!

S: [snickers]

O: I mean, we already know that Starscream can do a spot on Optimus impression, if last episode is any indication, let's be honest.

S: Yep. Ravage attacks, and Spike defends himself with a chair, but like, kinda badly.

O: [laughs] Then he knocks over the lone like, shelf of videotapes on top of Ravage and runs off and that's how he gets away.

S: Yep, uh, so then we cut to a gym where the Decepticons have apparently been invited to prom!

O: Of course! We see Rumble, Soundwave, Ravage, and Laserbeak are all on the dance floor, and I have to ask... did Ravage decide to let Spike go so he could go to this dance? Also, he is extra cute here. Just adorable.

S: I don't know. I guess at some point Ravage was just like, screw this bullshit.

O: [laughs] Screw this I'm not chasing this kid halfway through the city when I can go get tiny finger foods in a gym.

S: One lone, brave, dumbass, walks up to Laserbeak and says, “Laserbeak want a cracker?” And it's like, ohhh... this man's cruisin’ for a bruisin’.

O: And then we just get this close up of Laserbeak eyes glowing before we cut to the Autobots. So th- that was definitely the equivalent of ‘he looks at the camera like he's in the office,’ right?

S: Mm-hmm, and in space, Cosmos is leading the Autobot ship away from Earth.

O:  _ COSMOS! _ My baby!

S: The Autobots make their displeasure at being kicked off Earth known to Optimus Prime.

O: Ironhide’s pissed.

S: Cliffjumper, jumps off some cliffs.

O: You know, some metaphorical ones.

S: Optimus tries to turn the ship around, but uh, pressing, you know, random buttons does absolutely nothing for him.

O: Of course not. So then Hound, somehow triangulates their location with his shoulder-mounted canon- holoform projector-

S: Why didn't they just ask Cosmos?

O: Cosmos must just be outside thinking, “They must know, right? They must know they're headed towards the Sun.” [laughs]

S: So the Autobots are headed toward the Sun and they are really upset about their imminent fiery death, and Prime tells Cosmos to get in contact with Teletraan I.

O: Oh, poor Cosmos rotates so much in his alt mode, do you think he gets dizzy?

S: Maybe.

O: [laughs]

S: But obviously Teletraan I is not available right now for- well, if you remember the last episode very, very, obvious reasons.

O: A Fusion Cannon full of reasons! [laughs]

S: Yep, and the bots start to heat up as they approach the Sun. I have so many questions about how they're able to go so fast.

O: [laughs] Well, disregarding any train of logic, because we know what show we're watching. Cosmos transforms and enters the ship, pressing even  _ more _ random buttons in an effort to get them to turn around. Then we cut to the Decepticon Business Operation Center, or you know, the Decepticon main base, where Megatron watches the screen showing the Autobot ship hurtling into the Sun.

S: Okay, apparently- apparently Megatron has uh, cameras in space, somehow.

O: So…

S: Or god, maybe he just sent Astrotrain up there?

O: Or Buzzsaw, maybe? Just out- up there taking footage? I mean this- this has got to be perfectly shot, you know, it's gonna be his gloating footage from the next century!

S: Oh, next millennia.

O: Definitely! [laughs]

S: Oh, and then Mr. Berger is there, somehow. Whining about getting his three cities, which seems... I don't know. Three cities, apparently he wants to rule three cities.

O: Heh, small price- a small price to pay for Earth. Uh, Megatron calls him pathetic, and quite frankly I have to agree.

S: Yeah. Megatron uh, counts down before the ship explodes.

O: We then see the Decepticons leave their base because and I quote they have a, “Press conference.”

S: [sighs] Soundwave must have a very busy time managing their, you know, their schedule. That’s-

O: Ah, that’s not till Cyberverse where he becomes their social media guy. [laughs]

S: Yes, but who's managing the- who's managing their schedule now? Skywarp? Can you just imagine that?

O: [laughs] He would be doing very badly. My brain actually went- Berger, obviously, is scheduling all this shit right now but… fuck if I know. If- if- if one of the Cons is doing it, it’s definitely Ss- Soundwave.

S: Mm-hmm, and in the mayor's office, Spike has- Spike’s arrived at the mayor's office and is showing the mayor the video clip. To which the mayor calls it ‘conclusive evidence’.

O: Wai-wai-wait-

S: God-

O: So, this is like the same tape they gave Berger- the same tape they showed on TV, right? Did- did no one watch the entire tape, at any point in this!?!

S: Apparently not, umm, yeah.

O: Argh! HOW!?! [breaks down into laughter]

S: I don't know, it doesn't even look like they did any editing, um…

O: You know, beside from them swapping between a city and an oil field, somewhere, at some point during this video. [laughs]

S: [sighs] The mayor says, “How could we have been so stupid?”

O: You said it, sir, not me! And then we cut to a house that looks bigger on the inside than the out.

S: No, no, really, the outside looks like a rundown farmhouse but the inside looks, you know, kinda like a McMansion.

O: And then a little kid is complaining about not having any metal colored crowns because he was trying to color a picture of Megatron.

S: And the child was holding a gray crayon at this moment.

O: Okay, but seriously that was really freaking quick to have a Decepticon coloring book released!

S: Berger obviously rushed- rush printed it.

O: In 72 hours?

S: Somehow.

O: [laughs] Or less!?! I- I’m not even sure that it’s been 72 hours, I might actually be OVER-estimating that.

S: At the press conference Megatron reveals his true intentions towards Earth and it is unsurprising.

O: And I quote, one of the reporters says, “We’ve been had!” Why did he decide to do this at a press conference?

S: Megatron just craves the drama.

O: All of the drama, apparently.

S: Mm.

O: Berger, at this very moment, realizes he's made a horrible, horrible mistake.

S: And his own bodyguards turn against him and rush the stage. And considering his bodyguards are armed with like, machine guns... yeah. Starscream demonstrates like, his finger zappies, zapping the guards so they drop those guns.

O: I mean, I have to give them credit, they definitely were better armed than the guys with handguns that keep trying to shoot at the Decepticons.

S: Yeah… yeah.

O: [laughs] And then Megatron says, “The city is under martial law and I'm the marshal!” I'd like to order one Megatron in a cowboy hat, stat?

S: Oh god, a Megatron sized cowboy hat.

O: Oh my god, it would be completely ridiculous, I love it. [laughs]

S: You could probably get one for your Megatron.

O: I probably could, the question is should I? [laughs]

S: Yes.

O: Or I’m imagining getting one of those like, Barbie ones. So it’s completely the wrong color. It's like, Megatron is now wearing a light pink cowboy hat. [laughs]

S: Yes.

O: [laughs harder]

S: Get- get one with that, and had one in sort of gray or black that matches his-

O: Oh, obviously it has to be black, obviously.

S: Yeah, hmm, so the Coneheads cause havoc in the city.

O: Which Megatron dubs the city, ‘Megatronia I’.

S: His naming scheme is basically the same one Alexander the Great used for cities he'd conquered or founded.

O: Do you think it was as egotistical with Alexander the Great as it is here?

S: Maybe?

O: [snorts] We have no way of knowing.

S: Yeah, and Berger waxes poetic about having seen the Autobots’ death to Spike and company.

O: Spike is in fact, stupid enough to try and do something and Soundwave sends Laserbeak and Ravage after him.

S: Ravage goes tumbling into a pile of equipment and Mr. Berger takes out Laserbeak with a mic stand. But not that Spike gets very far... before uh, Megatron takes Sparkplug and Chip hostage.

O: I will never, not be amused by how they pick up Chip, it’s so adorable.

S: And then, well, the Decepticons being, you know, very predictable, put all the humans to work as slaves collecting energy.

O: And then, elsewhere in  _ SPACE! _

S: Huh, through quick thinking and inspired use of Trailbreaker’s forcefield, Cosmos is towing all of the Autobots back to Earth.

O: Wait. No. They're definitely heading back towards the Sun.

S: Because somehow Cosmos’ autopilot is controlled by Teletraan I, which is, you know, not horrifying at all.

O: Not horrifying-

S: No, it's actually terribly horrifying.

O: Right, like, let's just- let's just override the free will of our one spaceship bot, this is fine!

S: Mm- hmm.

O: And then, Chip manages to escape from the factory where they're all being held and- when Spike stages a distraction so he can get out, basically.

S: Spike does this by pushing a cart full of Energon cubes at Rumble.

O: And then yells at Chip to, “Roll!” Maybe keep your mouth shut and not draw attention to your friend trying to escape, dude!

S: Yeah, they really should have, you know, talked this out beforehand instead of madcap decisions.

O: Spike, talk things out, plan things- does he even know how to do that?

S: Maybe not.

O: [laughs]

S: Soundwave sees Chip escape, but Megatron's like, “He's harmless.” Regardless, um, he sends Thrust out to retrieve him.

O: And Chip is able to escape in the back of a cargo truck, and is able to reach Teletraan I.

S: Thrust, uh- um  _ thrusts _ his way into a mountain and proceeds to get to Chip, and honestly that is kind of terrifying.

O: Yeah, apparently that's all you needed to do to get into the Autobot base was just send Thrust in! [laughs]

S: Like, he literally goes through the mountain, he doesn't use the goddamn door.

O: He doesn’t use a goddamn door, and he like, comes from above?

S: Yes.

O: It- it looks like he went straight through the mountain like, not through the side. Straight freaking down a mountain.

S: Yep.

O: So, obviously Chip is upset when Thrust destroys Teletraan, but this is ultimately what frees up Cosmos’ navigation.

S: Thrust recaptures Chip, so… poor Chip is-

O: Back to the factory we go! [laughs]

S: Yup.

O: And the Air Force finally shows up at the factory, and then Megatron goes to order Starscream to attack them, but Starscream interrupts him says he anticipated Megatron's order- er, order and then he leaves by way of busting out the ceiling.

S: Because no one can use a fucking door in this episode.

O: No they can't. The other jets, including Blitzwing, take to the air and fight the Air Force.

S: I don't remember um, Astrotrain being in this so maybe Astrotrain was the one taking the video.

O: [laughs] Maybe, maybe, he can fly through space, this is a fair statement.

S: Or maybe it was you know, both Astrotrain and Buzzsaw so they could get different angles.

O: [laughs] Yes! Obviously, Megatron needs multiple angles of his totally erotic frenemie’s death. Yes, yes, yes, this is exactly what happened.

B: [laugh]

S: And you know, Buzzsaw needs a ride back. He can fly perfectly fine but that might be a bit- a bit of a long distance.

O: Of a long trek, yeah, yeah.

S: Oh, the Cons threaten to destroy the entire city if the Air Force comes back, but immediately afterwards the Autobots show up.

O: Megatron hears them, blasts through the wall, and then runs outside.

S: No one can use a damn door.

O: I mean, do they ever really use doors very well anyway?

S: Well, when they have to exit their- when the Decepticons have to exit their ship, yes. Because if they don't-

O: Water would get in.

S: Yeah, Megs is super upset, because he saw the Autobots explode dammit!

O: Of course, you know, a fight breaks out.

S: And you know, after the firefight, Megatron orders a retreat.

O: And then the mayor apologizes, as does Berger, who offers to disband his private army.

S: Ohhhh, my god he even calls at this private army. Berger, you should be charged.

O: Yeah, he really should.

S: Sparkplug tells him that uh, his private army already quit when they found out what a ‘dog's lunch’ he was.

O: That’s a new insult, or a really old one I have never heard of.

S: It's... British? It means a clusterfuck maybe, or…?

O: Sparkplug, most interesting man in the world.

S: I don't know, I mean, if it's based off of like ‘dog's dinner’ or something maybe, I don't know.

O: Yeah, I think like, we tried to look up where it was from and if- we came to: British, clusterfuck, apparently.

S: Yeah… yeah.

O: So Optimus tells Berger he’s gonna stand trial for his sins!

S: Presumably they won't be shooting him into the Sun if he loses.

O: And then the Autobots head home, with their squishies in tow. So, join us next time for episode 33, “Auto Berserk”! Red Alert gets bonked on the head and is suddenly paranoid about everyone and everything except Starscream.

S: Who is the worst person to not be paranoid about.

O: Exactly, [laughs] that is exactly. All right, we have two of my wildcard fics for tonight. The first of which is, “Not the Yuck!” by ladydragon76. It is based in the IDW continuity, it is G, it is Gen, there are no pairings. Our characters are Bob, Megatron, and Sunstreaker. And if you haven't read the IDW comics, Bob is an Insecticon, who basically is kind of Sunstreaker's pet? Uh, in summary, “Bob must help Megatron!” and this is a one-shot.

S: Nice, it sounds good.

O: It's very cute. It's short, but it's very cute. Um, honestly Bob needs to be in more fanfics, in my humble opinion. He's adorable… 

S: He’s-

O: But what do I know. [laughs]

S: He's like, Sunstreaker’s service- service animal-

O: Yeah, a little bit.

S: Service bug.

O: Service bug, yeah, he's such a cute little bug! Who’s probably as big as my car, but I can totally call him little if I want to. [laughs]

S: I think bigger than your car.

O: Probably, probably, considering what we’re talking about. And then our second fic is, “Forgetful, but not Forgotten” by ShiTiger. It is IDW, G, Gen, no pairings. Our characters are Rung, Censere [Sin-sare]… is that how you say his name?

S: I... I guess it’s as good as anything, cuz I tend to think of it as Censere [Sin-cere]?

O: Okay, it- one of those two names, but that guy. Uh, Red Alert, Ultra Magnus, Rodimus, Primus, and Mortalis. So, in summary, “What if the remaining 4 members of the Guiding Hand were able to absorb Adaptus’ blast before it hit the rest of the planet. But rather than everyone forgetting who they were, THEY were the only ones who forgot their true identities. (E- Epistemus has a body in this AU).” And then this is a one shot.

And then our fan artist for today is Pirate-Cashew. They have some very lovely work, and today we've linked to an assortment of different Transformers busts and a comic called, “Grimlock Goes to the Store,” which is every bit as delightful as you're imagining.

S: I remember that. That one was fun.

O: I know right? It's adorable. But honestly, I love- I love Grimlock, in the IDW comics he’s pretty great. Speaking of Censere [Sin-sare], or whatever the fu- or however the hell we pronounce his name. Um, there's fanart of him as well, so… yay.

S: Actually, I pulled- I pulled up a thing it's um, the pronunciation of it.

O: Oh, okay, what is it?

S: Sin-sir-ra.

O: Huh, that is not what I would have landed on, but that guy. And then, uh-

S: At least that's what it is in Latin, I guess.

O: Eh, that would make sense, a lot of their names do have Latin roots. And then there's some more busts that include eh, Perceptor and Pharma.

S: Oh, yeah, I feel like-

O: Pharma’s not the main attraction here for me but… [laughs]

S: I liked their Misfire.

O: Misfire is pretty great. I'm sad, I know he pops up at like, the tail end of G1 and I'm like, so used to him actually having a character in the comic. [sighs] So sad. [laughs]

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word), and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few. And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr or YouTube. Till next time, I’m Specs.

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

**Author's Note:**

> Fanfic Recommendations:
> 
>   * [Not the Yuck!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5718838) by [ladydragon76](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76)
>   * [Forgetful, but not Forgotten](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16572488) by [ShiTiger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiTiger/pseuds/ShiTiger)
> 

> 
> Fanartist Recommendation: [@pirate-cashoo](https://pirate-cashoo.tumblr.com/)
> 
>   * [Deviant Art](https://www.deviantart.com/pirate-cashoo)
>   * [Tumblr](https://pirate-cashoo.tumblr.com/)
>   * [Twitter](https://twitter.com/piratecashoo)
> 

> 
> Favorite Art:
> 
>   * [Grimlock Goes to the Store](https://pirate-cashoo.tumblr.com/post/176495461190)
>   * [Necrobot/Censere](https://pirate-cashoo.tumblr.com/post/149725835525)
>   * [Transformers Busts](https://pirate-cashoo.tumblr.com/post/177002084760)
> 

> 
> **Where to find us:**
> 
>   * [Anchor](https://anchor.fm/aftersparkpodcast)
>   * [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/AftersparkPod)
>   * [Google Play](https://play.google.com/music/listen#/ps/Imo2wtgyxc6dc5ayfomcavnitaa)
>   * [iTunes](https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/afterspark-podcast/id1452120342)
>   * [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/Afterspark-Podcast)
>   * [Stitcher](https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/afterspark-podcast?refid=stpr#_=_)
>   * [Twitter](https://twitter.com/@AftersparkPod)
>   * [Tumblr](https://afterspark-podcast.tumblr.com/)
>   * [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCG4cYaXdC4dtgl7a_paS6vg#_=_)
> 

> 
> You can also find us on our personal Tumblrs [@twilight-owl](http://twilight-owl.tumblr.com/) and [@specspectacle](http://specspectacle.tumblr.com/)!


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